Giant French Fry

I opened a bag of frozen store-brand steak fries to prepare for dinner last night and a GIANT fry came out. It was like getting a golden ticket to Wonka’s factory — that’s how excited I was about it. So I snapped a picture before cooking it.  The dollar bill is for perspective, of course.

 

The Shock Doctrine

http://www.naomiklein.org/shock-doctrine/short-film

The UK Guardian is running lots of material related to The Shock Doctrine, including excerpts, critiques, and supplemental reading. Obviously, I think you should go check it all out.

Henry Rollins says what we’re all thinking

No elaboration needed:

Some actual good news from Iraq

The Iraqi national soccer team triumphed in the AFC Asia Cup this weekend – the greatest sporting achievement in it’s history. Soccer, the world’s sport, has once again brought more people together than politicians and bureaucrats ever have.

As he bounced with joy with friends outside his house in Baghdad’s violence-racked Amiriya neighbourhood, Taha Mahmoud, a 25-year-old computer programmer, said: “In 90 minutes, 11 men on a soccer pitch thousands of miles away have made millions of Iraqis happy while 250 MPs, our government, the mullahs, imams and warlords can’t provide us with a single smile. I hope this is a turning point for our country.”

http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,2137653,00.html

Anti-anticipation of The Simpsons movie

Count me as one of the legion of former Simpsons fanatics. I can quote most every episode of the first 7-8 seasons. I still do so quite often. But over the past 5-6 years I’ve gradually stopped watching the new episodes. In fact, I haven’t seen a first-run Simpsons in over 3 seasons. So the arrival of The Simpsons feature-length movie is a non-event for me.

Ian Jones, writing in the Guardian, pretty much nails the decline of a once great TV series. The “Rise and Fall of a Comic Genius”

True, a long-running series has to evolve. Nobody would expect Simpsons episodes to still be solely about Lisa getting a pony or Bart failing a school exam. But, in the second decade of its life, The Simpsons evolved into a dreadfully predictable monster. With each new series came the same questions. Which foreign country will the family just happen to end up visiting this time? Which pop star will the family just happen to encounter while there? And what unsubtle bit of physical violence will Homer be subjected to en route? Contract leprosy, perhaps; get raped by a panda; or maybe get his head trapped between two halves of a lowering drawbridge?

This was change all right, but change as an excuse for idiocy. It was desperately disheartening for those who cherished and loved the show’s early years. Watching Homer hold forth on the topless women he’d seen on holiday in Florida, or Marge accidentally getting breast implants, you wanted everything to be revealed as a huge wind-up, or a cunning satire on trashy TV. But there was no hidden agenda. What you saw was what you got: a base, repetitive, unfunny cartoon.

The show has been ruined for me for many years. Everything that made the show great has been lost for a long time, replaced with “a base, repetitive, unfunny cartoon.” The “raped by a panda” scene is the series low point by a mile. I despise that scene so much that I cannot bear to hear Hank Azaria’s voice anymore because of his play-by-play narration of the, eh, courtship of a male panda by Homer in a panda suit. “Yep, he’s doing the Lindy Hop…” Damn, just thinking about it makes my blood boil.

I don’t even care about the movie and I doubt I ever see it. Does anyone really believe it will be any good?

This writer thinks so. Although based on the following statement, I remain unconvinced:

In short, it looks like The Simpsons Movie is going to be worth the wait. Still sceptical? Consider that this joke, revealed by Groening, didn’t make the movie, as Bart inadvertently gets stuck in an Egyptian sarcophagus:

Marge: “Homer, get him out of there!”
Homer: “Honey, he has to get over his fear of coffins one day.”

Excited?

Excited? Based on that “joke,” not in the least.

Gold Cup Summary

I have extensive notes from every US match during the Gold Cup, but I never got around to posting anything. It would’ve been a pretty boring set of posts, considering the through line in all matches was basically the same: Hejduk can’t cross, Onyewu is always out of position, Dempsey can’t finish, etc.

Instead I’ve decided to post the only thing that mattered in this tournament — Feilhaber’s golazo, wondertor, super volley matchwinner.

Please lay off the Vitamin Water

I know lots of people that drink this stuff. As Greg Saunders summarizes, “Despite the marketing that would suggest that you’re drinking regular bottled water that’s been “enhanced”, it’s really just Kool-Aid with a multivitamin in it.” He also exposes the little tidbit that Glaceau is just a subsidiary of Coca-Cola.

With the recent explosion of organic groceries, most of the big food corporations have a major stake in “natural” brands. For instance,  Kraft owns Boca Burger and Kellogg now owns Morningstar Farms.

These companies are not concerned with your health or the environment. They are focused on making a profit — as corporations, making money for shareholders is the main focus. Conscientious shoppers should be as fastidious as possible when purchasing seemingly healthy groceries. Don’t let a picture of a meadow on the box blind you to its contents or origin.

I am an avid consumer of most of the products I’m discussing here. I’ve been a vegetarian for more than 12 years. I buy lots of veggie burgers. The quandary of the current state of the organic, vegetarian-friendly food industry is that I am ecstatic at the availability and selection of vegetarian-friendly products, but I’m disgusted by the corporate duplicity and disingenuous, predatory marketing. But I hold no delusions. Sure, I shop at Whole Foods, but I don’t think I’m saving the world by doing so. You shouldn’t either.

last.fm acquired by CBS

I missed the announcement that CBS has purchased last.fm.

I am a big fan of last.fm and have become increasingly obsessed with tracking my listening habits.  Often when listening to a CD in the car I start daydreaming about how my stats might be affected, even though last.fm can only track my computer and iPod listening habits.

And the site has gone through a nice face lift and has introduced new tools on a regular basis, so I expect the improvements to continue at a faster pace with the infusion of cash from CBS.

I really like the new playlist widget.  Even though most of the tracks on my playlist are labeled as only being 30 second samples, the full tracks play when in shuffle mode.  And as alluded to by Richard Jones in the announcement, the site now has “…more clout when it comes to negotiating licensing deals etc.”  So I expect the available selection of tracks to increase dramatically.

I am very tentative, and usually disappointed, when corporate money creeps into things I enjoy.  The profit motive tends to erode almost everything of quality these days, so I’m not expecting last.fm to be any different. My only hope is that the site doesn’t become a giant Flash ad or start making me click through extra, useless pages to increase ad revenue, making it unbearable to view and navigate.  Please don’t fuck up this site guys.

Milk + Coffee + High-speed Camera

See more here

USMNT 1 – 0 Guatemala (6-7-07)

Another dismal match against Guatemala started perfectly on Fox Soccer Channel. Now we all know FSC is a Mickey Mouse, low-budget operation but I try not to bash it because I love that I can watch 6+ hours of Premiership soccer every weekend (thank God they use the English commentators!). But whoever is tasked with providing the lineup graphic should return his paycheck, that is if he actually gets one. The lineup was presented as a reverse negative: the left-sided players were shown on the right and vice versa. It totally threw me at first, “what the hell is Donovan on the left and Beasley on the right for?!? Oh wait, the knuckleheads at FSC must be designing graphic layouts while looking in a mirror” And the two geniuses, Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan, didn’t bother to mention it. The sane people who watch USMNT games with the sound muted were taken aback to be sure.

Aside from the lineup looking screwed up because of FSC’s mistake, it was tactically awkward as well. Bradley and Feilhaber may make a nice central midfielder pairing in the future, but they never had a chance of breaking down this opponent. I think a better option would have been to use Donovan in central midfield with either Feilhaber or Bradley and putting Dempsey on the right. I haven’t seen Hejduk do anything useful since the 1998 World Cup so I don’t know how he makes this squad, let alone starts ahead of up-and-coming stud Frank Simek at right-back. And let’s face it folks: Oguchi Onyewu is the most over-rated and over-hyped US international ever. It’s clear as day that Jay Demerit is a tactically and positionally superior central defender and deserves to start alongside Bocanegra. At left back, Bornstein benefits immensely from Beasley’s defensive work leaving me to question whether he is truly up to the task. So ideally, the backline should be: Simek-Demerit-Bocanegra-Spector. Luckily, Guatemala plays with one forward and their closest chances were from a near own goal from Bocanegra and a decent low effort from Ruiz on a 20-yard free kick, so this weak defensive arrangement wasn’t exposed too badly.

Anyway, the game started awfully, with the US wasting possession and misfiring a large percentage of passes as they tried to “feel out” the Guatemalan bunker defense. Despite the lack of flow, the US managed two great open headers from corner kicks but finished them poorly. It’s not a stretch to say it could’ve been 2-0 in the opening 10 minutes.

The lone goal, courtesy of Clint Dempsey, was started by a classy headed pass by Beasley into space behind the Guatemala defender, Melgar, who was caught flatfooted and couldn’t adjust as Twellman ran past him and onto the ball, quickly centering to Dempsey to blast in from short range. A really nice goal.

It looked as though the lead might open the game up a bit but that didn’t happen. Donovan was being wasted on the right until about the 35th minute when he started to see more of the ball. A very nice run was thwarted by Twellman, whose diagonal run succeeded in nothing more than getting in Donovan’s way and ruined what may have been a nice scoring chance just before the intermission.

The second half was a truly ugly affair. Guatemalan attackers, most notably Carlos Ruiz, were initializing all sorts of contact in the midfield and their offensive third. These shameless attempts at winning free kicks actually convinced the referee. It was a pitiful performance. A good ref would have warned Ruiz and called many fouls the other way. But a ball would be sent into the offensive third, a US defender would give chase, and a Guatemala attacker would run into the American, hit the ground, and the referee would call the foul and award a free kick to Guatemala. This was Guatemala’s sole ability to get the ball down field. Onyewu was carded unfairly, but he should have known better and played off Ruiz a bit. After he was sent off, Demerit should have immediately been inserted instead. There was a nervous few minutes after Onyewu petulantly left the field when it seemed Guatemala would get a breakthrough. Seeing Hejduk playing center back was a scary site. But once Demerit came on, the backline settled down. Demerit even flattened Ruiz cleanly, illustrating his superiority over Onyewu even in physical play. The fact is, Onyewu is a liability and it almost cost the US a victory. I am glad he will miss the Trinidad & Tobago match.

Getting three points in the opening match of a tournament is always a great start, but I’d like to see the US improve in most aspects of their game. However, the level of competition is so low that continued mediocre play from the US will still get them to the final in Chicago.

(Pun)ch in the Penalty Area

Bonus soccer coverage today

Yesterday during a Euro 2008 qualifier between Sweden and Denmark, a riveting match that saw Denmark rally from a 3-0 deficit, a fan rushed the field and tried to assault the referee after he red carded a Danish player for punching a Swedish attacker in the groin and awarding a penalty.

The ESPN Soccernet match report writer unleashed a great pun in his description of the event:

The trouble began when Dane Christian Poulsen was sent off for punching Markus Rosenberg in the penalty area.

Absolutely classic. Watch it here.

USMNT 4 – 1 China (6/2/07)

Writing a little bit about US Men’s National Team soccer matches is going to be a regular feature. And with 2 major tournaments this summer for the senior team (CONCACAF Gold Cup and Copa America) and the U-20 World Cup, a good number of posts this summer will be soccer related.

Last night the US defeated China 4-1 in a Gold Cup tune-up. To put it mildly, the match was an absolute joke. Then again so is the competition in the Gold Cup; I imagine Guadaloupe can mark on corner kicks and pull an offside trap with roughly the same efficiency as China achieved. The US backline was even a shambles at times, spotlighted by the woeful attempted clearances punished by Zhang Yaokun for China’s lone goal.

I’m not going to get into the game specifics too much because it was nothing more than a glorified scrimmage and i don’t think you can take anything from the performances, although it was nice to see Beasley continue his run of form since the end of his stay at Man City. He was most threatening early in the match when playing as the withdrawn striker on the right. This would open the left wing open for Convey if he comes back healthy and in-form next year.

The real highlights (and lowlights) of the match were in the TV coverage by ESPN. It’s possible to create a blog dedicated solely to how poor the soccer coverage is on ESPN, so I won’t get into all the problems. But as usual, Rob Stone needed to name drop at least three times (that must be in his contract!). Eric Wynalda got in countless references to himself. Stone and Wynalda together had conversations that have nothing to do with what’s happening on the field, often having to stop short whatever anectdote in order to report something that actually happened in the match. They even rolled Julie freaking Foudy out in the second half to randomly interrupt and talk nonsense into a mic that sounded like it was linked up from an orbiting satellite.

For instance, the trademark Foudy insight provided us with this nugget: “The US has three goals from set pieces, so China will have to work on their marking” or something close to that. The only problem with this brilliant insight is that one of the “set pieces” was a freaking penalty kick! I’m not sure what China could’ve done to improve their marking on that particular goal. Well, maybe she meant the play that led to the PK? I doubt it, since if you criticize the marking that allowed Beasley to get behind the defense, you’d have to mention the poor marking on Feilhaber’s run from deep for his goal. So the comment should have been along the lines of: “Holy Shit! China’s defending is junior varsity caliber out there tonight guys; all 4 US goals were direct results of defensive inepitude.” Granted, the US had lots of nifty offensive moves and looked good switching from 4-3-3 to 4-4-2 on the fly throughout the first half, but as i said, I’m not getting into tactics for this match.

But for all the shortcomings, Wynalda launched one of the best off the cuff one-liners I’ve ever heard during a match. In the third minute, Rob Stone mentioned the “ping pong” effect of playing along the cramped sidelines of San Jose’s Spartan Stadium to which Wynalda replied, “I hope we’re not playing ping pong tonight, we’ll get killed!” Get it? A ping pong match against China! Haha. Way to go Wynalda!

Seriously though, Wynalda has grown on me as a commentator. He does manage to sneak in some nice insight when he’s not feigning humility when Stone mentions that his USMNT career goal-scoring record is under threat. Last summer,I felt Wynalda tried too hard to ruffle feathers in the studio during the World Cup coverage, making everything about him, as usual. But I do enjoy him in the booth, especially when they squeeze Bruce Arena in there. Arena just seethes contempt for Wynalda and the tension between the two makes for enjoyable listening.

The real lowlight for me was the venue. I hate Spartan Stadium. And I don’t care how much fun it is to play there, as Wynalda and Foudy kept talking about. The field is too fucking narrow. Period. Plus, you can’t see the near sideline because of that stupid-ass wall. Can US Soccer call a moratorium on USMNT matches here please? The soccer stinks and the coverage in a joke. Call me a purist, but I want to see the whole field on the screen, not have to extrapolate the location of the sideline.

Bottom line: The US looked good against a joke opponent again (read: Denmark). An awful combination of venue, camera work, and inane broadcasting detracted from a somewhat entertaining yet useless match.

Wet-wipe Debate

We’ve been having a debate at work about this. I experimented with the flushable wet-wipes yesterday and I must say it wasn’t entirely convincing. But these folks seem to be real zealots. I admit they make rather convincing points:

Your friend explains that they have decided washing dishes is gross. They don’t want to get their hands all wet and they’d rather just use dry paper towels to rub them down. Their kitchen smells disgusting, but at least the plates are out of sight in the cupboard, prior to use.

Disgusted, you vow to never eat at their home again. In fact, you decide you would rather avoid their home all together as surely this disgusting practice is evidence of a total disregard for cleanliness, and probably even personal hygiene.

Imagine what they do with their ass?! Do they simply wipe it down in a “dry rub” fashion after using the toilet? You can’t imagine; the thought of such a practice is frightening. Imagine a world where people clean their feces covered bung holes with nothing but a dry rub from some paper.

Welcome to America.

Europeans have been using bidets to clean themselves for nearly 300 years. They evidently thought that spending the day with feces attached to their anus was gross, and they preferred to wash it off.

Please share you opinions or experiences on the matter…

ADVICE:

When you win close to $550 at the racetrack and casino and proceed to get wasted, it’s a good idea to write down where you hid the cash when you got home…

On airport security…

I’ve been on quite a few flights in the past year, in and out of many airports in multiple countries, so I’ve got a pretty good sense of the uselessness of American airport “security”.

The article below raises some interesting points.

I’ve emphasized selections that are especially observant and poignant to me:

BAE’s Onboard Threat Detection System

Big Profits from Big Brother

By PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS

The War on Terror is a marketing campaign for security industries and terrorism experts. The latter are pulling in the consulting fees, and the former are rapidly inventing new products that enable “our” government to watch our every move and to know our location at every moment.

Although it should be working on its corporate ethics, BAE Systems is working on an “Onboard Threat Detection System.” The system consists of tiny cameras and microphones implanted in airline seats. The Onboard Threat Detection System records every facial expression and every whisper of every passenger, allowing watchful eyes and ears to detect terrorists before they can strike. BAE says its system is so sophisticated that it can differentiate between nervous flyers and real terrorists.

Think about this for a moment. Aside from the Big Brother aspect, the Onboard Threat Detection System is either redundant or the security authorities have no confidence in the expensive and intrusive airport security through which passengers are herded.

We have reached the point where we can no longer fly with more than three ounces of lotions, shampoo, toothpaste, and deodorants, because the government pretends that we might concoct a bomb out of the ingredients. Three ounces of shampoo is safe, but three and one-half ounces blows the airliner to smitherins.

We must shed coats, shoes, and belts to pass through airport security. We are wanded and patted down. Luggage is X-rayed and searched. IDs and boarding passes are endlessly checked as we proceed from check-in to gate. And we still need an Onboard Threat Detection System to monitor our expressions and words.

Other firms are developing chip implants that identify a person to scanning machines and allow our movements to be monitored by GPS systems. Still others are developing ID cards that have retina scans and our DNA. No doubt we will be required to have both.

All of this is to protect us from terrorists.

No thought is given to whether the intrusion from the protection is a greater threat than possible terrorist acts by foreigners protesting American hegemony over their own lives. If American hegemony has this big a price, I can do without it.

Some of us remember when it was possible to read a book in an airport while waiting on a flight. Today it can’t be done without ear plugs. TVs blaring the latest propaganda compete with incessant repetitive terrorist warnings interrupted by announcements of flight cancellations and gate changes. The cacophony of sound is maddening. If only we could go back to the days of crying babies and screaming children.

Once a terrorist warning is produced, it lives forever. Every US airport endlessly plays the same ancient warning from decades ago instructing passengers to carefully watch their luggage and not to accept items from other people to carry aboard flights. This warning dates from pre-security days when the explosion of an airliner in flight was blamed on a passenger accepting a parcel from a stranger to carry to a person waiting at the flight’s destination. Allegedly, the parcel was a bomb.

To hear this warning today thirty or forty times after passing through security makes a person wonder about the efficiency of airport security. Were all those warrantless searches pointless?

The greatest problem confronted by marketers of anti-terrorist products is the shortage of terrorist attacks. The only terrorist events Americans have experienced are the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. As for 9/11, we still don’t have a good explanation of how so much security failed in one morning.

To prime the market for anti-terrorism products, the Bush administration used 9/11 to invade Afghanistan and Iraq. The Bush administration has been attempting to occupy both countries for several years at a cost to taxpayers estimated at 1,000 billion dollars.

The main result of the military action has been to stir up resentment among Muslims in the hopes that the resentment will find expression in terrorist acts in the US. We have been made less safe in order that entrepreneurs can make big bucks protecting us with new security products. It would have been much better just to give the 1,000 billion dollars to the security firms and not invaded the two countries.

Keep that in mind when you are being monitored in your airliner seat and are blinking too much because you still wear the old hard contact lenses or are suffering from allergies. Excessive blinking is a telltale sign of stress and means that the blinker is about to commit a terrorist act. When you are arrested don’t bother arguing with the foolproof Onboard Threat Detection System. Just be thankful that your senators and representative received enough campaign donations from security firms to be concerned with your security.

Combine the 7 Deadly Sins

Sticking with Music….

Another thing I’m a sucker for when it comes to music consumerism is Smiths covers. I think I own 99% of all Smiths covers on CD. The catch is that almost invariably, Smiths cover versions are absolutely awful. Just today I found a Smiths tribute CD that I bought but don’t remember ever listening to. And sure enough it’s terrible.

I think there’s only two Smiths covers that I like: Down By Law’s “London” and Youth Brigade’s version of “What She Said.” Both of these appear on the same disc, The World Still Won’t Listen – A Tribute to The Smiths. Some of the other tracks on this compilation are tolerable, bordering on decent, but that’s as far as I’ll go.

I therefore call a moratorium on covering The Smiths and/or Morrissey. For the sake of humanity.

But if you’d like to parody Morrissey, take a crack at these tunes:

Five terrible fake Morrissey songs

1. Bachelor in a Casserole
2. The Swirling Clergyman’s Lament
3. St. Sebastian’s Disused Quiver
4. Dolorous Dolores
5. Gracious Knows These Trousers Bind

I’m really looking forward to hearing #5.

Best Music Purchase in Ages

Jade Tree records has put together a phenomenal reissue package of one of the very best bands of the last 15 years, Avail. (mp3 samples available here)

Basically, they’ve taken 3 of Avail’s first 4 albums (leaving out the debut, Satiate), originally released on Lookout Records, and remastered them. They’ve slightly modified the original album art, added tons of pictures and fliers, compiled the lyrics, and added quotes from the band to the liner notes. In addition to the 3 full-length records, they’ve added Live at the King’s Head Inn and the Attempt to Regress 7″ to Dixie, included the entire Live at the Bottom of the Hill release to 4AM Friday, and added two compilation tracks and the Fall of Richmond 7″ to Over the James.

Jade Tree put together a great pre-order package bundle that really sealed the deal for me. I purchased all 3 CDs plus a “exclusive” t-shirt and promo poster for only $30! Essentially, this is 4 full length releases, 1 10″, 2 7″s, and a t-shirt for 30 bucks. Find me a better deal anywhere. The best part is that I received the package already but the release date isn’t until April 11th. So I am thoroughly overjoyed right now.

Let me add a little perspective to this: I already own ALL of this stuff in one format or another. I have Dixie on vinyl and cassette, the Live at the King’s Head Inn 10″ vinyl, the original 7″s, and the other two albums on CD. So why did I buy this?

1. I wanted to hear the “remastered” Dixie, my favorite record of all time
2. I could easily rip this stuff for my iPod and get better sound than my vinyl rips
3. I’m a sucker for a decent t-shirt
4. Incredible pricing

and the deal clincher

5. The cover of “Said Gun” by Embrace

Yep, one obscure track is what compelled me to pull the trigger on the purchase. But I’m really happy I bought it.

Even more perspective: I am a compulsive music downloader. I could have easily snatched all this stuff in due time. But I still like buying the hard copy. I like reading liner notes. I like supporting artists and labels. I don’t like extortion. So screw the RIAA. Support independent artists and labels and download to your heart’s content (or your harddrive’s capacity, whichever come first).

Free Time Allocation

Over the last 3+ years, most of my leisure/free-time had been spent playing videogames. I acquired a modded Xbox, and I downloaded just about every game that has been released since then. And I’ve played 75% of them. And completed 50% of that. Sometimes 3 different campaigns (KotOR!). That’s a ton of hours spent on the console. Since the release of Xbox 360, hell, for 6 months prior to its release, quality game releases have dried up like my neglected, underwatered lawn. What I’ve done with my free time in the past 9 months, instead of yardwork or playing videogames, is read lots and lots of books. See, before I got an Xbox, I read all the time. Hundreds of books. It’s taken me awhile to realize exactly how dramatic the shift in emphasis from “traditional entertainment” to “new-fangled technofun” has been.

Every year, my parents give me bookstore gift cards for Christmas. And every year, the day after Christmas, I go to the bookstore and spend the entire gift. I then stack the books on my nightstand and systematically read through them. This used to be a mechanical process. Buy, sort, stack, read until the pile is gone. Not long ago I realized my stacked hasn’t gone away in a long, long time. In fact, I have 4 different stacks, and they keep growing taller. There are no less than two dozen books in my “To Read” stacks. Twenty-four fucking books that I’ve bought but haven’t opened yet!

In late October my area was hit by Hurricane Wilma, the fourth hurricane in the previous 14 months. During the prolonged power outage, when I wasn’t drinking warm beer or siphoning gas, I made a conscious effort to start reading more often. I began with Snow Crash, followed immediately by Stephenson’s earlier novel, Zodiac. I then read three Hiassen paperbacks. Then I got ahead of myself and ordered books from Amazon and AK Press. In hindsight, this was an obvious setback. The stacks didn’t shrink. Then I downloaded Half-Life 2. Back to the fucking videogames.

Since I completed Half-Life 2 I haven’t started a single Xbox game. Maybe a little FIFA ’06 tournament here and there, but no major campaigns. I managed to finish two demanding novels in this period: Name of the Rose and Foucault’s Pendulum, both by Umbert Eco. Both are stunning novels. Both are chock-full of labyrinithine historical allusions that I only pretend to understand in their entirety. But the point here is that I actually read them. They are off the pile.

This has given me an uncontrollable desire to keep reading. I am going to mow through the rest of the stacks. I’ve got Pattern Recognition, Fountain at the Center of the World, Gravity’s Rainbow, Cosmopolis, One Market Under God, London Fields, The Handmaid’s Tail, The Baroque Cycle, Hegemony or Survival, and Diary on deck. And I just bought Football Against the Enemy, Freakonomics, and Tipping Point. And I have been itching to tackle Ulysses. Yeah, and maybe I’ll reread DeLillo from The Names to Underworld chronologically while I’m at it.

The irony of this whole thing is that I just downloaded Black, Call of Cthulhu, and The Godfather for my Xbox. Does anyone know if these games are any good?

Interesting Zogby Poll

I can only surmise two possible conclusions based on this Zogby poll:

1. The troops are undermining their own morale and should be court marshalled for treason, since anyone who says we should leave Iraq ASAP is a traitor and is only emboldening the terrorists.

or

2. Liberal media propaganda is so pervasive that even the vaunted troops don’t know about all the wonderful progress they’ve made.

The Weight

I’m waiting for a chance
Just waiting for an open door
Waiting for a moment

So I can miss it.

hat tip: Assfactor 4!

Greatest Spam text ever

From Missy Jolene (gwmfk75tvph@gte.net):

slow a force music, similar across prison appearance did night, prison development thus very.
speaking next wife commit? promised parents carefully?
studied raise social whom?
black suddenly or. yours next why principle. hard companion least?
mentioned we not yours arms side,

Poetic.

A few words I don’t like

loaf

girth

onus

pabulum

A few words I like

eviscerate

nugget

counterintuitive

vicissitude

USA 4-0 Guatemala

I haven’t seen the highlights of the recent US Men’s Soccer friendly match against Guatemala over the weekend, but I noticed something interesting in 2 accounts of the match. Here’s a description of Ben Olsen’s opening goal from the match report at yanks-abroad.com:

Ben Olsen opened the rout in the 38th minute when he blistered a stunning shot from 35 yards to beat Guatemalan goalkeeper Ricardo Jerez, who was making his international debut in net.

Contrast that with Graeme Jones’ account of the same goal in the LA Times:

Klein got the rout started in the 38th minute with a long diagonal pass to fellow midfielder Ben Olsen, who rifled a dipping, 20-yard shot past goalkeeper Ricardo Jerez, a 20-year-old making his debut for Guatemala.

There’s a 45-foot discrepancy between a 20-yd and 35-yd shot!

I tend to believe the 20-yard description, as I’ve noticed over the years most people exagerate the distance of long range shots all the time. This is what gets under my skin though–there is a big-ass rectangle 18 yards from the goal. How hard is it to guess how far out the shot came from?

So which is guys? Was Ben Olsen 2-yards outside the box, or 17?